Gloria
Ornelas Hall
Learning to Love: Be there
We
have each other to hang on to. In these times of uncertainty, where
institutions, religion, family and social structures are breaking down, we have
each other. To love is to be there for one another. My parents taught me that. No matter what we’ve done, how we’ve differed or how far we’ve roamed, they have always been there for us. In life or beyond, such loving gives us structure and faith.
Cells
grow an inner cytoskeleton to give their shape inner strengthen and make them locatable
and dependable for cohesion in tissues. We have to develop inner trustworthiness
to be there, for others. It requires generosity to give when we have enough;
self-denial to share when others are in need; patience to listen when we are
tired; strength to always back our loved one and side with him even when he is
wrong. Loving requires walking alongside our lover; to be there for him when he
needs us. It´s not about carrying him, or having him, carry us. It is about
holding hands and giving a helping hand when asked.
Our
loving may not be mutual and it may not be fair. We differ in needs. For some of us, selfless loving
and patience come easier than for others, bound to more materialistic demands. It
should not deter our loving, much as parents who, though more evolved than
their young ones, still accompany them along their growth. We are not the same.
I learned that the hard way, when, as a medical intern I helped give birth to
an anencephalic baby. The fact that an innocent newborn was unjustly bearing
such a physical anomaly, shook the very basis of my belief in divine justice. I
realized that the notion that we are all the same, is totally false. Some of us
are fat, young, ugly or more or less intelligent. Some seem more evolved in
loving than others. Whatever the explanation for our differences, we must
continue learning how to love. It is not about what we do, but about why we do
it. We can continue doing the same thing we do daily, but evolve to spiral
doing it with different intentions:
-
Our eyes first have to learn to see; then observe; then discern and
identify right from wrong; to finally overlook wrong and choose to see only goodness.
-Our
mouth has to learn to talk; then learn to keep quiet; then speak the
truth; and finally speak only
kindness.
-Our
ears have to hear; then listen; then filter gossip and negativity; and finally
choose to tune into harmony.
-
Our hands, in balance, have to give and take; develop justice and compassion; then generosity and gratitude; to finally unite in prayer.
- Our feet, in balance, have to first stand
up, take a stance and confront a
problem; then, have fortitude to take
a step, always in balance with prudence;
then, develop tenacity to try again,
always with patience; and finally, to
walk alongside to accompany our loved
ones.
-
Our heads have to think; then understand; then comprehend;
and finally be wise.
- Our
heart has to feel pleasure; then accept pain; then forgive and finally love.
