Learning to Love: Keeping Busy

Gloria Ornelas

There are two types of people: those who love and those who ‘think’ about loving..(guess which one I am?!!!). The first ‘act’; the second, ‘re-act’, ‘enact’, ‘subtract’….
Reverend Mother, in the Carmelite Monastery used to remind us constantly, that the ‘father’ (she actually said ‘mother’, but I changed it!) of all sins was ‘boredom’…doing nothing (not the same as ‘leisure’, which is the ‘time-out’, necessary for meditation and contemplation).
Those of us who go around moping and complaining about how unjust ‘life’ and ‘love’ have been to us…aren’t loving. Even those who go around ‘re-membering’ the broken pieces of heart, or proudly trumpeting their ‘ideal come true’, are merely re-flecting..not ´living´love.

I recently asked a Nun what love was for her, and she sat down, took my hand and was silent. I was immediately engulfed with an upsurge of warmth and energy. I sighed, unexpectedly, as I heaved with relief.
“What are you doing”, I asked. And she looked straight into my eyes ‘lovingly’. I had an image of a flower whose petals were opening up as she began to share her secret.
“I breath Love in, as I evoke Eternal Grace ; plead for forgiveness as I assimilate its ‘Goodness’; and exhale a blessing on all I know, all I come in contact with, and all who may need it” .
“You do that all the time?” I asked horrified, as I realized that it would imply having to ‘let go’ of inner dialogue. I would have to stop analyzing, judging, comparing, self-justifying, let alone have to set a distance with people and their luscious gossip.
“It is Living Love, every minute of the day” she answered, peacefully, and continued.. “When I pray consciously, I use my imagination to take me into the ‘Heart that Loves me, Unconditionally’ and let myself  feel embraced and lulled. It is from that Higher Loving that I ‘p-ray’  ,‘raying’ it onto others”.
“Take the Rosary,” she continued  “..when I pray it, I imagine myself imbued by Mother Love, and feel ‘im-pregnated’  with Higher Loving, so that I can embrace souls that may feel lost, using imagery to envelop them  in an Imaginary Womb, while I wish them  protection and Love”.
I was shocked, half thinking she wasn´t  ‘all there’….but she went on, disowning my doubts.
 “Use your imagination to make Love happen. It’s like magic. Imagine you have a ‘wand’ and bless everyone who comes across you during the day, wishing them all kinds of goodness. If anything, it will keep your mind busy, free from idle thoughts and out of trouble”, she said  laughing.

I’ve been thinking about it ever since, even trying it. I don’t know if I’m loving any better, but it certainly keeps me mind busy.