L´earning to Love
Gloria Ornelas Hall
Lesson THREE: Be
present
Michael Specter gave a talk on TED, about the “Danger of
Science Denial”. He argues that through
the scientific method we could solve most of the world problems, were it not
for people’s “opinion” and “wishful thinking” overpowering objective evidence.
He says: “Be skeptical. Ask. But when proved wrong, accept
it”.
Righteousness, like science is not determined by a democratic,
majority vote. Things are, whether we agree or not. Wisdom begins when one doubts
one´s own judgment; halting before giving an opinion.
“Never fully trust what you hear or what you see”, my
grandfather used to say.
But I would add, ‘Question your own judgment, and don´t
believe what you say’.
Maybe it´s only my judgment and opinion, that shouldn´t be
trusted. But ever since I stopped ‘thinking’, this year… I´ve been so much
happier! No more internalized judgment, resentment, frustration, internal
endless regretting and nagging about things that have to get done, and how.
Just silence, peaceful acceptance, awareness of authentic feelings and a more humane response to my immediacy.
This has given me much-sought-after ‘enjoyment’.
I commented about this as we toasted over Christmas wishes,
my ex-husband, step-son, daughter and I (family
ties I try to keep alive, through
extended-family bonds of love). Each identified and shared their personal
hallmarks during the year. I said I had
never been so happy. Things hadn´t changed, but I had just stopped trying to
control them; stopped feeling responsible for their outcome; stopped feeling
guilty. My ex-husband was horrified as he realized he had never had that
feeling.
I myself am a Medical Epidemiologist accustomed to
scientific research and evidence-based statistics. But this new freedom from ‘reality’,
as I had conceived it, has given me a new horizon. It is as if the first fifty
years of my life had been about climbing and reaching success-filled summits…
and
now as I walk down the other side of the mountain of life, having reached what
I had thought was the peak of ambition, I see a whole new world, set within a framework
of different rules. I am no longer encumbered by futile burdens..with a ‘laisser
faire’ freedom and enjoyment of life, down-hill!
So as I heard Michael Specter..I wondered. This new
experience of passive acceptance has thrown me into the arms of trust and blind
faith. I definitely believe linear cause and effect, when demonstrated, defines
events, occurred, in the past. However science cannot fully determine future
events.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, the American romantic philosopher and poet that
explored man´s essence through self-awareness and knowledge, redefined the idea
of self, from that of ‘selfishness’ to new compound expressions of "self-realization,"
"self-expression," "self-reliance."
He said: “If, self and nature are one, self-awareness is not a selfish dead end but a mode of knowledge opening up the universe. If
self is one with humanity, then the individual has a moral
duty to reform social inequalities and relieve human suffering.”
He
defined two ways to reach an ideal: One is from reality, upwards; from the past
towards the future. The other is from the ideal downwards; from the future, to
the past. Scientific methodology traces steps from objective reality towards
subjective idealism; whilst subjective idealism traces steps from inspiration
of the sublime, down through steps of awe and reverence, into the beauty and
deeds manifest, within human comprehension. The act of loving stands in the
present.
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