L´earning to Love
Gloria Ornelas Hall
Without inner silence you cannot hear the rustling in the trees. To know where the winds are coming from, we must first hush inner turmoil. ‘Anguish’ (from the lat.: angst-narrow) is the distress that suffocates us when in stress. ‘Anxiety’ is inner confusion that blinds the soul. Both come from fear. Uncertainty leaves us grappling aimlessly with no leverage or control. This helplessness renders us fearfully dependent upon destiny.
All we can do is trUSt. We have each other to hold on to.
How can we deal with this tension?
Breathe in, inhale deeply and exhale slowly, releasing the tension. Be here and now. Don´t fuss about where it´s coming from or where it is going. Let it go and be still. Don´t follow thoughts that fly across your mind. Like birds passing by, be aware of them but don´t get hung up; let them go. Don´t think. Don´t feel. Just breathe; rhythmically, slowly, deeply, and be still. It is when you are ill (dis-ease) that you must be still (and take it easy).
A peaceful mirror of water comes to mind, when the dregs of confusion have settled. If ‘sticks and stones’ aimed at you, stir that peace, don´t fuss. You are not your thoughts. You are not your feelings. You are not what others see of you or how you are described. You are not your actions or your mistakes. Center within, and anchor deep into your Higher Self. That is when you gain consciousness of your true immanence. Everything else can wait.
It is within this stillness that we can truly listen. Music is made from such silence. Such perception allows us to know the Truth. An example comes to mind, from one of my patients who couldn´t stop hating herself for not having heeded to her son’s cry for help, before he committed suicide. We often hear what we chose to believe, minimizing dangers and blowing up self-justification. It happens in love. We see and hear what we want to believe in our lover, often overlooking alarming signs of trouble. It is often easier, requiring little effort or personal risk. If we are still, our perception is cleaner and clearer, with greater fidelity. Free from wishful thoughts and judgments; from feelings of fear or desire, we are open to receive others as they are. Loving them thusly, is accepting them unconditionally. We must first empty self from ego.
Now that I know the stillness of the heart, I can hear my heart leap and skip a beat when it falls in love. I wouldn´t miss it for anything. It is the rhythm of life.